5o Things Not to Do at Hogwarts
by the-lady-of-iron
Summary: Here is a list of 50 things NOT to do at Hogworts. Laughter is required.


DISCLAIMER: I dont own harry potter unfortunatly. If I did, do you really think I'd be sitting here writing fanfiction?

50 THINGS I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS...

1. I will not refer to Hagrid as the Big Friendly Giant

2. I will not feed Lupin excesive amounts of sugar, just to see him bounce off the walls all day.

3. I will not say PUFF every time i apparate.

4. I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination.

5. I will not sing "Were off to see the Wizard" every time I go see Dumbledor

6. And I won't insist that Proffesor Flitwick is a munchkin.

7. I am not allowed to chase Seamus around, screaming that he stole my Lucky Charms

8. I am not allowed to ask if Sirius' middle name is Lee

9. I am not allowed to tell the first years that there is a party in the Forbiden Forest every full moon.

10. I am not allowed to call Dumbledor 'Santa Claus' and then ask repeatedly to give me more presents.

11. I will not take out life insurance on Harry Potter.

12. I will not make jokes about Lupins 'Time of the Month'

13.I will not pat Lupin's soft brown hair and coo "Good doggy"

14.I will not refer to the Accio spell as 'The Force'

15.I will not suggest to Voldemort to get a tan and/or wig

16.I will not set fire to ANY first years, no matter how funny I think it is

17.I will never, ever tell Snape that everybody thinks he's to old to be emo, and he should grow up.

18.I will never sell this list to Fred and George just to see them do all of these things

19.I will not yell "Troll in the dungens!" in the great hall

20.I will not try to tame any dragons, since I will probrally get killed...

21.I may not dance to class

22.I may not tell others to dance to class

23.I may not pretent to have Torretts Syndrome and shout out things at random during Dumbeldor's speech

24. I will not try to convince everyone that Dumbledor is Santa.

25.I will not call the Centars 'My Little Pony'

26.I am not allowed to cast disillusionment charms on anyone's clothing

27.I am not allowed to tell everyone that Dumbledor and Minerva are dating in secret

28.I am not allowed to tell Harry that he really is the son of Voldemort, as it causes him to try and kill me

29.I am not allowed to go back in time just to yell at Lily and James "Everybody knows you're eventually gonna date, so get on with it already!"

30.I am not allowed to throw things at people.

when those things are dungbombs.

32.I am not allowed to tell the house elves that Hermione needs to have constant attention as it strangely seems to make her cry...

33.I will not knit the house elves mini Hogwarts uniforms, as it creeps people out

34.I will not paint the Slytherin common room pink, with posters of unicorns. It makes them very angry

35.I will not explain to Hagrid the uses of a brush.

a razor. Or any other kind of hygene instrument

37.I will not call the goblins 'Santa's Elves'

38.I will not tell Draco that even though he's a Death Eater, all the girls love him (*swoon;)*)

39.I will not tell Lucius that he is SO last week!

40.I will not tell the Death Eaters that their name sounds like they're a bunch of emo kids

41.I will not tell the Order of Pheonix that pheonix's don't really have an order...

42.I will not try to teach wizards how to use cell phones

computers...

44.I will not slap Fudge when he insistes that Voldemort is not back even though he makes me mad

45.I will not dye Hermione's hair red, and call her a Weasley.

46.I will not step on Crookshanks and say I thought he was a rug.

47.I will not tell Nevile's Grandmother that he is a Squib

48.I will not use a Sharpie to draw a lighting shaped scar on Voldemorts head

49.I will not tell the first years that Hagrid will eat them

50.I will NEVER again make another list of 50 THINGS IM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS

A/N: you know it wont hurt you if you press the review button, it might actually feel good ;)

(thank you to my amazing beta Hopefeather and my best friend in whole world, go check out her stories)


End file.
